Boundaries for Southern Women: How to Be Good to Yourself Too
About the Book:
I’m surrounded by women who are trying so hard to be whatever they think a good Christian woman is that they’ve lost their joy, their God-given intuition, and their good sense about when to throw in the towel. Working too hard, up in everybody else’s business, may help you imagine that you have some control over what happens next, but as my sister-in-law and I say: Control is an illusion. It’s time we had some faith that the folks we love need to learn from life, instead of only from us.
And, yes, it will feel unnatural to let your sweetheart be angry at you, or to let your kids get in trouble because you’re not rescuing them. Folks may very well wonder what the hell is wrong with you. This book will help you stand your ground, with love and confidence, and let them all wonder….
Why I wrote it:
This is the book that my clients have been asking for, for years: How to say what you mean without being ‘mean,’ how to let go of unrealistic expectations, how to tolerate the tension of disappointing people, and how to love yourself while you do it. I include the obligatory self-help steps, but I also truly believe that – once you ‘get it’ that most of what you worry about is not really ‘yours’ to solve – boundaries become more about decisions than about technique. Your decision to let boundaries speak for themselves is all the ‘how to’ that you’ll need.
Excerpt:
Read MoreCHAPTER 1 - The Southern Woman's Dilemma
Southern women are supposed to be sweet. We know how to talk, dress, walk, and cajole in ways that make us appear pleasing to our men, sweethearts, friends, neighbors, and strangers. Often, underneath that sweetness, there is ‘steel’ supporting the sweet. Women withstand the crush of caregiving, raising kids right, running businesses and baking casseroles and visiting Mama in the old folks’ home. But we still are expected to be pleasing – even as we swat children with dish cloths and give the church committee ‘a piece of our minds.’ Strong, but always sweet.
